Let’s Stop the Burn Out of those with a Big Heart.
How often do you feel drained, exhausted or have gone into full burnout or get sick?
Those who see their purpose in helping others have great compassion for those who suffer. This often leads to a cycle of exhaustion that can easily lead to burn out and frequent illness.
Most people in the helping professions struggle with finding a healthy balance. This includes how much to give and for how long.
They struggle with their personal and professional boundaries and a tendency for responsibility and often over-responsibility. This may become a consuming compulsion. So much so they can’t do enough.
They are on a crusade to save everyone. Save the world.
To make this tendency worse we are told by many schools of thought, (spiritual and religious), ”Good people put others first.”
”It’s better to give than receive.”
Even, “Putting yourself first is selfish.”
It remains true that those who see their purpose as a supporter of others feel an impulse to make a difference.
People who help people are frequently healers, teachers, nurses, social workers and mental health professionals. They are vulnerable to giving too much and putting themselves last.
There is no doubt organizations love such people in their ranks. It is so easy for them to hook into their innate sense of guilt and over-responsibility as they are easily seduced into becoming workhorses. If enough of us are sucked into this, it changes the workplace culture and fewer employees are required. Workhorses work harder and longer than others.
Those working for themselves do the same. We also don’t know where or when to draw the line.
In my earlier years I was constantly exhausted, drained and frequently hit the wall in burnout or sickness. This meant that I was not fully available for the most important people in my life.
I deeply regret this and realize I had my priorities upside down.
It took time for me to understand, I am not superwoman.
I am just a normal person much like everyone else and have needs and require nourishment and support too.
Eventually I realized, if I was going to remain in this profession and remain healthy and effectively help others, significant changes were required.
How I was operating was unsustainable.
I needed to re-orientate myself and be grounded and authentic.
As a psychotherapist I became aware I was being inauthentic in encouraging my clients to put themselves first in allocating their priorities, time, health and wellbeing, unless I was doing the same.
I had to put my own house in order.
In an airplane we are told to put on our air-masks first in an emergency, so we can help others. If we don’t do this we are in no state to help.
We all go down together.
Since then I have developed a regime that puts me first. Puts me at the centre of my life. I now really ‘get’, no one else can do it for me.
Interestingly in doing this I improved my efficiency many times over. Nothing has been lost and much is gained.
Now that I have this in order I have plenty of energy. Good professional and personal boundaries. I don’t allow others to take advantage of my good nature and am able to hold others to a respectful account when necessary.
I am more productive and effective in my work and I have time for my loved ones, hobbies and even a social life. I have many roles in life.
Finally, I am able to voice a healthy ‘no’ when appropriate.
My clients and students flourish as I offer my services in an invitation to meet me halfway. Just as no one could do it for me, I know I can’t do it for them.
They also need to make the choice of putting themselves first if they wish to benefit from what I offer. In this way they take control of their lives when they agree to put themselves forward to meet me halfway. I give and they choose to receive what I offer. I can’t do more.
With this in place I sleep well at night knowing that I am doing the best I can with what I have and what I offer.
I am holding a Mind Body Spirit Self Care workshop on Saturday 25 March 2017 in Brisbane Early Bird11 February for those of you who a ready to find a sustainable way of keeping yourselves ‘full,’ so you can be really effective at what you have to offer.
In this workshop you can take time to design your own life balance and learn new practical and energetic techniques for keeping your nurtured, healthy and strong. With this in place you can continue to do what you love in a sustainable healthy way. Be more focused and effective and provide an authentic role model for others.
I visualise a world where those in the helping professions take full control of their mind body and spirit in maintaining peak health. The knowledge of how to do this is an integral part of their professional training, so they can look forward to long fulfilling careers that are in balance with their personal lives.
With this as a foundation, helpers may stay strong throughout their work-life and beyond in valuing the importance of effective self-care that goes far beyond supervision, days off and a good sleep.
These ideas are presented in my book Rapid Core Healing for Growth and Emotional Healing (2016)
Details of training
Yildiz is the founder of two psychotherapies, a clinical hypnotherapist, Family Constellations facilitator and educator/trainer and author of three books. Her latest book Rapid Core Healing Pathways to growth and emotional healing (2016). Yildiz lives and runs a private practice in Brisbane, Australia, travelling nationally and globally to train clinicians and run workshops for the general public.
Organisations involved in training or growth interested in courses or applications may contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org
These ideas are presented in her book Rapid Core Healing for Growth and Emotional Healing (2016)
0412 172 300